The Sacrament of Matrimony
By Mr. and Mrs. Susan and Lloyd Haak, with Deacon Ed Sullivan
Getting Married at St. Joseph’s Parish
“God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good”
(Genesis 1: 31).
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body” (Genesis 2: 24).
Congratulations,
and welcome to our overview of marriage at St. Joseph’s parish!
This is an exciting time for you, and we are here to assist you as you begin your life together. You do not have to be a parishioner to have your wedding ceremony at St. Joseph’s. And, if your ceremony is at another church, or in another city, you may complete the marriage preparation here at St. Joseph’s.
Let's Get Started...
Step 1: Call or Click!
Call the Parish office at 410-683-0600, or fill out the form below. The form will ask basic contact information, approximately when you would like to be married, and what type of ceremony you would like. If you don’t know what type of ceremony you would like, that is, a Mass or a shorter ceremony, that is fine. Just check, “don’t know,” and you can discuss it with the parish Deacon, Ed Sullivan. You may request an appointment by email to esullivan@sjpmd.org Also, you should contact us at least six months before your ceremony date so you will have sufficient time for your marriage preparation and other planning.
Step 2: Meet with a Priest or Deacon.
Once we have gotten some basic information from you, we will contact you to schedule a meeting with a priest or deacon. If you have requested a Mass, you will normally meet with a priest. If you have requested a shorter ceremony, you will meet with Deacon Ed Sullivan. If you are not sure, you will meet with Deacon Ed Sullivan and discuss your options.
At the meeting, the priest or deacon will interview you about your intentions and your understandings about marriage. This is called the Prenuptial Investigation – but don’t freak out about it. It will be a friendly discussion to explain the Church’s view of marriage, and to make sure you are both on the same page. As Shania Twain put it, “If you’re not in it for love…I’m outta here.”
Step 3: Marriage Preparation
Did you know the most frequent problems newly weds face in the first five years of marriage are: money, time management, and sex? That is why the marriage preparation course is an important part of your wedding plans. It is a time for you to reflect on what’s important to your, talk with other couples who have been down this road, and it is great way to prepare you for the challenges of day to day life after the honeymoon. The marriage preparation is offered in three formats:
1. Pre-Cana classes: You attend four 2 ½ hour sessions at the church with other couples preparing for marriage. Topics include finances, dealing with extended family, conflict resolution, communication, spirituality, sexuality, and children/birth control.
2. Home class with a sponsor couple: You attend the four sessions at the
home of a married couple. This is a more personal type of discussion format as you develop a relationship with your sponsor couple. You will cover the same topics as the classes above.
3. Weekend engaged encounter: You go on a weekend retreat nearby and cover all the discussion topics in one weekend.
Step 4: Planning the ceremony and meeting with the presider
At this time you will meet with the priest or deacon who will perform the marriage ceremony (the presider). You will select readings from the Old Testament, the New Testament and the Gospel to be read at the ceremony. You will also select music, prayers, and petitions as desired.
You will have been instructed to obtain you marriage license and current copies of your baptismal certificates. You will bring these to this meeting or be in the process of obtaining these documents. For a "FAQ" about Marriage in Maryland, please visit http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/p/maryland.htm
Step 5: Documents and Fees.
If you have not done so in Step 4, present your marriage license and certified baptismal certificates. The offering for the use of the church for your wedding day starts at $150 for parishioners and $250 for non-parishioners, but may increase depending on the size of the wedding.
Fees for the organist, cantor and others who provide services will be discussed with you as you plan your ceremony.
Step 6: Rehearsal, and the Wedding Day!
The bride and groom, wedding party, readers, and presider will go through the ceremony at the church, usually the day before, or a few days before the wedding day.
Then, it's your wedding day . . . and happily ever after
The Next Steps: Would you like to talk about marriage?
Use the contact form below to contact Deacon Ed Sullivan.